A need to escape: Giving up control

 

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One morning as I sat down in my usual spot at the kitchen table to study what the day ahead was going to bring, according to my lengthy task list and scraps of paper with meticulous details, it dawned on me there is an odd contradiction between my non-author and author personalities.

In my everyday life, I am fanatical about organization and control, unable to function without my compulsive lists of managed details, coordinated notes and color coded calendars.  In contrast, when I sit down to write, my efforts are hindered by any planning.  When I force my story thoughts into a controlled process, my muse rebels and leaves me, taking with it all creativity.

Believe me, I have attempted dozens of various organizational options from simple outlines to complicated mind-mapping and spreadsheets, but none of them worked for me.

My inspiration is finicky.  While it strikes often, it is completely random.  I have a difficult time scheduling my outpouring of ideas into a particular time slot each day.  While I do sit down every morning and write, it isn’t always productive, or pretty.

My creativity, much like my children, is stubborn.  It appears when it wants.  Sometimes I find myself writing into the wee hours of the late night, or in the middle of the afternoon while juggling several other tasks.  It isn’t always convenient, but if I allow my thoughts to flow freely without forcing them into some form of organized imprisonment, the reward is a journey that sometimes I don’t even anticipate.

Writing is my “me time,” and I love slipping into my stories like one slips into a pair of flannel pajamas on a cold winter’s night.  It feels good.  My character’s world wraps around me, and I am transported, escaping into their journey.  I am free to write, no plans, no outlines, no problems.

The process of writing is an art.  Each of us is a unique creator with a vision that works best for our journey.  We don’t have to fall victim to all the voices demanding the painstaking organization and detailed planning of our story.  Writing is fluid and like life changes from moment to moment.  Follow your characters and your heart. Write with passion in a way you enjoy.

Organized planner, or throw caution to the wind, which kind of writer are you?

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